Stress of Success

Someone once told me that success can't be easy, otherwise everyone would do it. In fighting terms, not everyone can be the champ at once. Someone has to beat out the rest and rise to the top. This is true everywhere in life. When you're doing well, you can work hard to share that success with others and inspire someone to rise to the occasion and do the same. Obviously there are a lot of obstacles along the way and that's what makes the journey special. However, the path is hard enough, there's no need to make it even worse. Often, our own fear of success can get in the way. Other times, people around you will be reminded that they're not as focused or making as much progress and might resent your efforts. These are obstacles that we should consider not worth our time. That might sound harsh, but there's enough challenges ahead that the ones that can go away by just acknowledging them should be the first to go. The journey to your goals isn't a nice walk in the park, think of yourself charging forward, making your own path, swatting distractions to the side and crashing through the many obstacles ahead.

Outside Pressure
As many studies have confirmed, social support is very important in a person's life and in the case of some athletes can actually affect their performance. Goal setting also becomes more successful when a sense of accountability is achieved by involving a friend or co-worker on their progress. So, in most cases, involving other people in your efforts usually yield good results, but there are exceptions. Usually not malicious, some people in your life might feel a subconscious resentment toward your success. This isn't personal. Your achievements might remind someone of their failures or lack of focus towards their own goals, whether they realize it or not. This makes you exposed to a constant subconscious negative presence that will, with enough time, hinder your future progress. This kind of negative stress from outside influences has been proven to affect an athlete's performance or recovery by up to 20% in the wrong direction! In combat, where often a half a second is the difference between victory and defeat, that has huge implications on just how much our environment can change our results. Identify and eliminate.

Self-Imposed Pressure
People around you aren't the only ones that can add unnecessary stress to your work, you can to. Sometimes we can be our own worst enemies. This is something all too familiar to me. Be careful when setting unrealistic goals for yourself and establishing a standard that you can't possibly keep up with. I'm all for aiming high, but if you set yourself up for failure all the time you're programming your brain to expect failure. All your goals should be broken down into smaller, more achievable goals. This way, your programming success with every step on the way. The further you go, the more you've experienced success. Imagine if you were running toward a goal and found a way to gain speed with every step along the way. Tell a friend or colleague about your goals and how you plan on achieving them. This will hold you to a sense of accountability, but also keep you grounded. Hopefully, your friend will tell you if you're setting impossible standards for yourself.

Guilt of Success
For some, success comes with guilt. This guilt can come from outside factors and/or from somewhere inside yourself. When we start to see progress in worker toward a better life for ourselves, we sometimes wonder if we're being selfish and why others around us might not be as happy. Being focused on what makes us happy isn't selfish, it only becomes selfish when we are happy at the expense of others. When there are people around us working for the same, keep charging forward to help clear the path for them, as others might have done for you. Don't feel guilty that others aren't where you are on the journey, it's not a race. Be available to those who ask for your help and guidance. Some will be inspired, others will be offended. That's normal. Be careful of those who resent you, as mentioned earlier, they will find a way to slow you down. Above, we mentioned how they can add stress, but they can also add guilt. Keep your mind open to catch backhanded compliments and other subtle attempts to make you feel like you're doing something wrong by being happier. It's a fight, both inside and out, with yourself and others.

Stress and fear are killers of the body, mind and spirit. If your soul could get cancer, it would be from too much exposure to fear and stress. Think of all your proudest moments and chances are fear and stress came along at some point to try and ruin it for you. We've been engaged in this battle since we were infants, but we've accumulated all the tools we need to win this war as we grew up. Through years of training, I've managed to convince myself that as soon as I feel fear or stress, chances are I'm about to do something I'm going to be proud of. Make whatever association you need to notice fear and stress and charge right into it and meet it head on. As you continue to move forward and break through walls, don't feel bad. You owe it to everyone who could potentially be inspired to better themselves to keep going forward. No one's getting left behind, we're just not all at the same place. The first rule of First Aid training applies everywhere: you can't save anyone if you can't save yourself. Acknowledge and eliminate. Be confident in yourself, aware of others slowing you down and make no apologies for improving your life. For all we know, this might be your only one. Make it count.

Jordan Bill
Fight or Die


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